


'Cause You Came Back To Me

by inenochian (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Affectionate Dean, Awesome Bobby, FBI Agent Castiel, Fluff and Humor, Human Castiel, Hunter Castiel, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Poetic, Short & Sweet, Temporary Character Death, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/inenochian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean thinks that Castiel is dead, only, he is not. And Dean is about to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Need You.

The thought struck Dean's mind like a thunderbolt even before he opened his eyes. The date stood out inside his sleep-induced-fuzzy brain like a beacon. His eyes opened and the first thing he saw was the empty chair near the motel table.

_I'll watch over you._

Tears stung his eyes, hands reaching for the bottle of Jack even before his mind could comprehend what brought the throbbing ache in his chest. He downed two gulps as if it were water as if he were breathing in air. As if it was the easiest thing to do, as if he needed it to survive. His brother kept sleeping like a baby in the bed beside his.

Two years. It had been exactly two years since the almost-apocalypse ended. Two years since Sam came back, Bobby was resurrected, Two years since Lucifer and Micheal got trapped in the cage. So, really, Dean should be happy. He should be fucking ecstatic. But, every day in the past two years, all Dean had been able to think was,

_Why Cas?_

He mourned silently, Never drank in front of his brother. Faked smiles and laughs in front of what was left of his family. He went on hunts, killed monsters and saved lives and essentially just carried on _every day_ , But, God if he didn't miss the blue-eyed angel every damn minute of his existence.

Dean wasn't stupid enough to think there wouldn't be casualties when he planned on stopping the end of the world. People were going to die and he accepted that. Made peace with the guilt of staying alive while the people around him died left and right. But, That was it, wasn't it? Castiel wasn't human. He was an angel. A soldier who had lived and fought and obeyed and really just lived for over a millennia. He had saved Dean from Hell, thrown away his beliefs, killed his brethren, and had fought alongside him during the end of the fucking world, And how did Dean repay him?

He got him killed, that's what. Out of all the people he knew in all his life, if there was one person who should have been able to survive this whole ordeal, It would have to be Castiel. But, no. God brought his brother back from the cage, he gave Bobby a second life, but, he let Cas die. He let Micheal burst him into a million pieces like a fucking water balloon.

So, yes, Dean felt like fucking dying every day. He would swap places with Castiel in a heartbeat. He would try to bring him back, but, really, he has no clue as to how. Because, Cas is- was- an angel. What happens to angels when they die? They don't go to heaven. they don't go to hell. Hell, They don't even have a soul! It's like they just stop existing, and really, what the fuck is with that? If monsters can have an afterlife , if brutal murderers can have an afterlife (however bad) then why can't angels?

_Why can't Cas?_

Dean doesn't realise he's crying until he sees the drops fall on his jeans. He sniffs, rubs his face, and walks over to the bathroom for a shower, pointedly ignoring the empty chair and an even emptier hole in his chest.

When he comes back, his brother is awake and has a coffee in his hands. He points to the table where there is Dean's is (And really? Dean really didn't want to see that chair) and goes back to packing his duffle bag.

"I think we should take a break. This is our, what? Fifth consecutive hunt? Let's go to Bobby's for a few days." Sam tells him, and Dean realises he's right. They've done nothing but hunt since the past few months. It's frustrating. 

"Yeah, okay. Do you want to give him a call?"

"Nah, I was thinking we'll surprise him. Get one of those really fancy beers on the way, maybe even a barbeque. It would be refreshing."

"Okay." Dean doesn't know what to say. Of course, it won't be refreshing. Going to Lisa's was not refreshing, staying at Bobby's was not refreshing, Hell, long drives alone in his baby weren't refreshing either.

 _Refreshing_. He would snort if he was capable of humour.

Sam looks at him weirdly like he's just noticing something is wrong with Dean, and Dean realises he's letting his guard down. But, he can't help it. Because It would be exactly two years today. Two years since he lost Cas. Two years since he lost the chance at happiness that he could've had if only he would've said those three words. But, Dean was an emotionally stunted not to mention scared idiot, and it was the apocalypse and Cas was an angel and he probably would've gone back to heaven,

But, really, Dean still loved him.

He fakes it though. Extra hard. He gives Sammy his biggest shit-eating grin and hopes that his brother won't really notice his glossy eyes, It works, because Sam is hell-bent on thinking everything is perfect now that the Judgement day has been successfully averted for another millennia or two, and the sad little details usually miss him by a mile.  
They pack and leave when Sam's had his shower, and drive until they absolutely have to stop for gas and lunch, it's another crappy diner in the middle of nowhere, and it's stupid because it's been like two fucking years, but, as Dean takes his seat at the booth, He can't help but send a quick prayer asking Cas if he wants to join them for lunch.  
He has to hold back another wave of crushing disappointment and guilt when he realises what he's done. It happens every day. He prays to Cas when he's feeling extra hopeless, Because Cas might not exist anymore, but, He's still a million times better than all the rest of the angels (or even God for that matter) that still do. There isn't going to be anybody else he's ever going to pray to. There just isn't going to be anybody else. Period.

They continue their drive back to Sioux falls after that. And Dean has to remind himself that Sam's here and that Sam's happy and that at least he's got his brother back so that he doesn't throw up and start bawling like a baby.

 

Castiel woke up 2 years ago in a well lived in apartment with every memory of being an angel and surviving the apocalypse. But, also with every memory of being Castiel Novak. The second son of Christopher Novak and the twin brother of James Novak. The memories of Dean Winchester, mixed with the memories of living in a well-lit apartment, The memories of being an angel of the Lord with the memories of being an ordinary FBI agent.

Castiel Novak woke up 2 years ago feeling like his head was about to burst.

He talked to his brother about it, Jimmy simply said it was a nightmare, But, see, dreams aren't that detailed, and you don't remember dreams for long. So, Castiel gave himself 1 week before going to Sioux Falls and seeing for himself if The Singer Salvage was just a part of his imagination.

Bobby shed a tear when he saw Castiel, and laughed when the boy told him what had happened. Bobby was just about to call Dean when Castiel refused.

"Why the hell not?!" Bobby had asked with a scowl, Castiel just shrugged.

"I am not an angel anymore, Bobby. I can't help them like I used to. I can't heal, I can't fly. They have no use for me and I would only get in the way."

He did not say that the thought of Dean not needing him made him want to hurl.

Bobby looked at him like he was the biggest idjit in the world. He sighed, shook his head, but, said nothing.

The following year, Bobby taught Cas everything he knew about hunting. They met when the boys weren't visiting. It was relatively easy. Castiel was fast, in great shape (courtesy of being an FBI agent), He knew how to handle a gun. Had an impeccable aim with a blade (Maybe something to do with being an angel in the past). He studied medicine, The basics, how to stitch up a wound, how to clean and maintain it, how to handle a gunshot, The main arteries and veins and bones. He learned about the monsters, their weaknesses and strengths, he learned and learned so that he did not think about the brothers, did not think about Dean, anything to keep his mind off of what could've been if he would've just said those three words.

Because, Castiel was a broken angel, and Dean was The Righteous Man, and Dean probably wouldn't have asked him to stay.

But, really, Castiel still loved him.

He drowned himself in hunts, quit his job and made new friends in the hunting community. Helped Bobby man the phones when the old man was tired of sitting around. He worked alone, mostly. Sometimes, people would ask him to help. He was a tactician, Thought strategies and made plans. It not only saved lives but, also ammo. Calculated shots at weak points meant minimum bullets used.

Hunters either loved him or loathed him.

After a year, Castiel's sister-in-law, Amelia got possessed by a demon. Castiel was there when she (it) came home. Jimmy didn't really take well when he saw his brother spouting Latin while his wife screamed profanities. That was the last time either of them saw each other. Castiel still kept tabs on them, was still in contact with Clair, his niece. He made sure his new family was safe, but, he never really saw them again.

When Dean and Sam entered the Salvage yard, There was a 1965 Ford Mustang parked in near the front porch. Dean let out a low whistle, and even Sam seemed impressed.

"Who's do you think that is?" Sam asked, his eyes never leaving the Car.

"Dunno. But, the guy's got good taste. I would drive that if it weren't for baby." Dean replied. Just then, The door to the driver's side opened, and a man came out. Dean's breath hitched when he saw who it was. It was night time, The guy was soaked head to toe, hell, he wasn't even facing the brothers, But, Dean would recognise him anywhere. 

Cas, or at least a Cas look-a-like bent down again to grab the towel from the car seat, and Dean heard Sam suck in a breath when his side profile came into view. There was no mistaking it. It was Cas. He couldn't see them because the Impala was shrouded in the darkness, but, the porch light was on, and Dean saw, completely unable to move, as Cas rubbed his hair dry with the towel whilst climbing up the stairs quickly, as if he were cold, Bobby opened the door, and yelled so loud, Dean could hear him from inside the car.

"What the hell happened to you, Boy?!"

But, really all Dean could think of was, Why wasn't Bobby shocked? Why were they talking as if they have been talking for years? Dean's throat was blocked, Bobby looked annoyed, but, otherwise happy. Sam was about to open his side of the door but, Dean stopped him. Cas must have said something because, Bobby just shook his head, muttering something. There was silence, Cas shifted his weight from one foot to another. Bobby huffed a breath.

"Well?!" He yelled. "You gonna stand there till the end of the world or something? Get in here and go shower, ya' idjit!" Cas laughed. laughed. and walked in, giving Bobby a side hug, who bristled at the wet contact and hit him on the shoulder. When Bobby closed the door, the brothers sat in silence for two beats before Sam whispered,

"Holy shit."

If Dean opened his mouth, he would cry. Silently, He opened the car door and walked over to the front porch. Bobby was smiling when he opened the door, But, It dropped in a second when he saw who it was.

"Balls." He muttered. Dean pushed him aside and speed-walked over to where Cas was walking towards the bathroom, his back to Dean. In one swift motion, Dean grabbed his hand, turned him around, He only got to see Cas' surprised face for a millisecond before He was holding the other man in his arms, all wet and hard and strong. Cas still smelled the same. Like freshly cut grass and honey, but, it was mixed with the smell of wet mud. The guy was like lead in his arms, but, Dean didn't care, because, he could feel the racing heartbeat against his own, could feel the warm breath against his shoulder. Cas was alive, and well and oh my God, Dean is crying. He's actually shaking and sobbing and clutching onto Cas' black dress-shirt like that is the only thing that is keeping him alive.

"Dean?" Cas' voice is soft, but, just as deep, it makes Dean want to kiss him and punch him at the same time.

"Shut up." Dean tells him in between sobs. "You shut up. I'll beat the hell out of you later, but, right now, you shut the fuck up."

Dean knows somewhere in his brain that he should hold himself back, that Sam is here and so is Bobby and he's crying in front of both of them like a complete sissy. And Dean is about to pull back, But, Cas relaxes against him, goes soft and clutches him back just as hard.

"I'm sorry." He says in Dean's shoulder, and Dean probably wouldn't have understood if that mouth hadn't been moving on his jacket. He pulls away slowly, and so does Cas. Both of their eyes are red, but, Dean is glaring none the less. He shoves Cas against the wall, and the other man hits his head with a dull _thud_. He winces, but, otherwise, says nothing. Dean is all up in his space in two seconds.

"You want to tell me what's going on here? How the fuck are you alive?" Dean doesn't shout, doesn't whisper, his voice wavers between steady and shattered, but, really, what ruins him into oblivion is the look in Cas' eyes, how they wouldn't meet his. How his hands clench and how he breathes harder and deeper as if to calm himself down.

"He brought me back. God brought me back two years ago."

Dean thinks he might be going insane. Because two years. _Cas has been alive for two fucking years_. And Dean had been crying every day because he wouldn't answer his prayers. Dean thought he was dead and gone and just _done_ but OH MY GOD he was alive and here and now Dean was laughing like a complete and utter _maniac_ while still sobbing at the same time, And really, Where the hell are these tears coming from anyway? It's almost like he has Niagra Falls instead of tear ducts, because nobody can cry this much and still be capable of tearing up.

"You've been alive for two years. And in those two years, you never thought of calling me even once? I prayed to you, Cas. Every damn minute. Every single day. Did it ever occur to you that I might need you?"

When Dean looks at Cas he doesn't know what he expected, maybe for Cas to look guilty or sheepish. But, Cas doesn't look guilty. He looks devastated and angry. Very very angry.

"Because I AM HUMAN, _Dean_." Cas yells at him and Dean's breath hitches. "I am human. I can't heal you, or fly you to places. I don't have any mojo, as you nicely put it. I know that you don't have any need of me. I know you don't need me anymore. I just wanted to save myself the hell of you saying it to my face!"

And if Dean didn't want to die before, he sure wants to now. Because Cas thinks Dean only _had him around_ because he was an angel. Because he was strong and Dean needed a weapon. Cas thinks Dean only thinks of him as a weapon, a tool to fight and win the apocalypse, And all of it is so far from the truth that Dean finds the whole situation hysterical. It is all so funny that the next words Dean yells come out unprocessed from his brain, tumbling like waterfalls and hurricanes, like disasters and calamities, They break all the million walls standing in the two-inch space they have between them and they hit Cas like a punch in the gut,

"I need you because I love you, Dammit! I don't need you to heal or fly or whatever it is that you can't do anymore. I need you to exist. I need you to be alive. I need you to be Cas and be there by my side. Hit me when I'm being stupid, Talk to me when I'm just done. I need you to stand close and look at me like you can see through my fucking soul! I don't care if you're not an angel. You're breathing, and your heart is beating and that alone is more that enough for me to be fucking ecstatic, you fucking Assbutt!"

The room freezes. Castiel is looking at him like he's looking at him for the first time. Like he looked at his soul that time in hell. Like Dean is new and bright and everything that is good in the world. He's looking at Dean like Dean is revelation. Like he is the messiah and the holy-grail. He's looking at Dean like Dean is a fucking miracle. Behind him, Sam's breath hitches. Bobby is stalk-still. The knowledge of Dean's feeling for the former angel weren't news to either of them, But, the extent of those feelings is so shocking that Bobby has half the mind to go bring holy water just to make sure that it is all Dean in there.

None of that it matters to Dean. He doesn't see Bobby taking a step back, reaching out for Sam and pulling him so that both of them can give the two men some privacy. Dean doesn't hear Sam's protests, as if Bobby were asking a teenager to shut the TV off at the most suspenseful part of their favourite show. Dean doesn't see anything, doesn't hear anything, doesn't feel anything, but Cas, as the other man closes the gap between them, crushing those lips against Dean's, whispers apologies and declarations of love between heady kisses and heart-wrenching sobs.

It takes particularly long for Dean to understand what this means. He processes the words coming out of Cas' mouth with an embarrassingly sluggish-lust-induced-mind. Processes the _I love you too's_ and the I _'m sorry's_ and the _Oh God's_ whilst drinking the moment in, making sure he is still tethered to reality and that this isn't really another cruel dream he'll wake up from crying and hard.

But then they pull apart, slow and lingering, and Cas is still there, all soft skin and hard muscles, still in his arms and his expression so open and soft and vulnerable, Dean has to kiss him one more time, hard and bruising, before pulling back and glaring,

"You're a fucking idiot." He tells him, holding him tight and breathing him in.

"Okay." Cas says simply, but, Dean can feel him smiling against his neck. He grins.

Everything is Perfect.

They stand there for who knows how long, until Bobby comes back in the living room, sees them still hugging like a pair of Koala bears and huffs out an irritated breath,

"If you _boys_ are done with your touchy-feely girl talk, Sam is done preparing the barbeque." He says and they part. Dean feeling lighter than he has in years and Cas feeling like he's been re-made all over again. They're holding hands and grinning like a couple of 12-year-olds and don't let go throughout the barbeque.

Cas tells the brothers what happened to him in the past two years, and If Dean was not so overwhelmingly happy, He might have shown different expressions like Sam throughout the story instead of just grinning like he owns the moon or something. As it is, the barbeque goes by in a blur, with minimal words and maximum body contact. Sam had almost forgotten how happy his brother could actually get when good things really happened. Bobby huffs and puffs, acting irritated and angry, but, when Sam's tending to a new set of burger patties on the rusty grill set, he comes over to where Cas and Dean are sitting, Claps them both once on their shoulders, tells them that he's happy that both of them finally got their shit together in the gruffest voice achievable before leaving like nothing happened.

Sam takes the couch that night, Dean and Castiel share the bed in the spare room, though really, not a lot of sleeping happens. The long over-due talking and.. other stuff, keeps them up half the night, whilst the events of the evening take up the other half. Both of them wake up tired and sleepy, but, happy and content.


	2. I Love You.

It's not until the following afternoon that Dean finally witnesses the humanity Castiel is now capable of since he lost his angel powers. It's a peaceful day. Sam and Dean are on vacation, Castiel just came back from a hunt yesterday, Bobby is helping Garth on some research while the boys watch TV.

Well, At least Sam is watching TV. 

Dean can't help looking at Cas every 2 minutes. The man in question is sprawled on the couch, his head on Dean's lap while he reads a book on 17th-century British poetry. Dean has been playing with Cas' hair for the past half an hour, seeing the black locks stick in different directions being infinitely more amusing than whatever talk show Sam is watching from his armchair.

Dean is so content, so suddenly and completely at peace, that he's about to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable position ever, when the bang on the front door disrupts the serenity of the day. Sam sighs loudly, but, sometime during the past ten minutes, Cas had fallen asleep, so Dean is pretty much stuck where he is. Sam gives his brother the stink-eye and goes to open the door while Dean smirks and silently ruffles Cas' hair back to the way it was so that they don't look like Devil horns.

"Where the hell is Castiel?!" It's a female voice, yelling so loud, that Cas wakes up with a yelp of surprise. Dean frowns but waits for the girl to come into view. She is in front of them in two seconds, hands on her hips and glaring like nobody's business. Sam is trailing behind her looking like a confused puppy. It's really not a good time to confront Cas about anything. He's sleepy and grumpy and probably hungry. Dean gets up to go to the kitchen, but, a hand on his knee stops him,

"Stay." Cas croaks out, and Dean gives him a smile.

"I'm just gonna get you some coffee." He tells him. Cas nods, pulling away and rubbing his eyes, looking like he woke up for the first time in 10 years rather than from a 10 minute nap. He looks up at the girl, looking tired and weary while Dean sets the coffee pot to brew.

"What do you want now?" He hears Cas ask, and Dean really doesn't know what to make of the situation, so, he puts all his concentration in not over-thinking things and instead let everything run its course. Because, whoever that girl might be, She was not the one who Cas spent last night with, nor was she the one who's lap Cas slept on like 2 minutes ago, and she absolutely was not the one who's soul Cas pulled from hell. So, as far as Dean's concerned, he still has an advantage. 

"What do I want?! Are you kidding me! You're the one who left me stranded in Louisiana-" Cas cuts her off just as Dean comes back with the cup of coffee.

"You were being dumb." Cas tells her, all the while taking the cup from Dean and sending him a grateful smile. Dean sits back next to Cas, a little closer than before, the girl is still looming over them.

"No, It was not. A water Demon was a reasonable explana-"

"It wasn't. Water demons and rare. You wouldn't find them in lakes in the middle of a town. It was obviously a vengeful spirit, But, I've told you that a hundred times now. You refuse to listen to me, and wanted to research more. People were dying, so I finished the hunt on my own."

She glares at him, but, the intensity is gone because, really, It isn't affecting Cas one bit. Dean looks impressed, remembering the case of a vengeful water-spirit he and Sam solved themselves.

"Doesn't mean you should leave me alone in a motel after that."

"I was wet, and tired and honestly, had no patience for your tantrums. If you had behaved like an adult, defending your methods and thinking behind valid points that would require consideration instead of acting like a _child_ and telling me to trust your 'hunter instincts', maybe we could have had a decent conversation."

Dean hasn't seen Castiel this pissed off before. He's using finger quotes and emphasising the right words to tick the other person off like a pro. He places a hand on his back, and sees with a smile as Cas noticeably relaxes. The woman in front of them sees too, she narrows her eyes at him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"And who're you?" She asks, voice icy cold. Dean replies with a smile just as cold.

"Dean Winchester."

It may have been two years since the almost-apocalypse, But, Dean never gets tired of the way hunters' eyes widen as they hear the last name. The brothers who saved the world. Also, The brothers who kick-started the end of the world. It's exhilarating, watching her mouth gape open while she struggles for coherence, she turns to Castiel instead,

"You never told me you knew Dean Winchester!" She yells at him again, Cas narrows his eyes, and when he speaks next, his voice is as dry as the Sahara Desert.

"Yes, I know him. Very... _Intimately_." Dean wants to laugh because Cas looks slightly jealous, But, he wants to laugh even harder because, the girl doesn't get. She has no idea what Castiel means by 'intimate' because when she looks at Dean again, her eyes are dark and full of awe,

"Hi. My name's Lara. Been hunting since I was 10." She gives him her hand, he shakes it and nods.

"How do you know Cas?"

"Cas? Oh, Castiel? I don't _know_ him. He just has a bit of a reputation in the community for being helpful with lore and strategies. Nothing like you or anything, but, I asked him to help with a hunt. That's all."

He doesn't like her. Dean really doesn't like her. He's about to reply with something equally snarky when Bobby's gruff voice get's all of their attention.

"I wouldn't say a _bit_ of a reputation. The guy's a genius with a map or a blueprint. Not to mention, He's memorised all of the basic mythical lore. Also, I heard you ask him 3 times to go on this hunt with you, Lara. Don't sugar coat it."

Dean gives Bobby a wink and turns to Cas with a grin, only to see the guy positively _blushing_ under the praise. Dean ruffles his hair and turns to see Lara glaring at Bobby now. Before she starts shooting lasers at people, Dean decides to shift her attention somewhere else,

"Behind you is my brother, Sam." He tells her, and sees as she turns around, surprised and again, awed. Sam looks positively panicked, and shoots Dean a half-panicked and half-pleading look, But, Cas' head is on Dean's lap again, eyes closed and breathing even, So it's not like Dean could help him even if he wanted to.

Not that he wants to.

Castiel is disappointed that Lara still hasn't left even after he wakes up.She's pretentious, is well aware of his reputation, and yet refuses to take his opinions in serious consideration just because she has been a hunter longer than he has. If only she knew how old he actually was.

He himself is in no way proud. He might be human now, but, he was an angel once, and he had seen first-hand what pride had done to Lucifer. But, that doesn't mean that he is okay with people looking down on him. He relishes in his strengths, helps out in any way he can. He had his part to play during the apocalypse, even if others didn't know. He has billions of years of knowledge inside his brain, knows random facts and history as it actually happened. Heaven might be fuzzy, and the knowledge he gained from the Host is at best non-existent, now that he isn't connected to his brothers and sisters directly, but, doesn't mean he shouldn't be respected just because he used to work for the Law Enforcement.

Dean thinks he understands why Cas is so annoyed the rest of the day. The guy left heaven, killed his family, chose to fall and quite literally died to stop the apocalypse, but, nobody knows that. To everybody else, he's just a random man (no matter how highly intellectual) who quit being an FBI agent and started hunting merely 2 years ago. The hunting community looks at experience instead of talent. They don't care how bad your aim is as long as you've survived a decade (no matter how many people you get killed in the process). It's why neither he or Sam hang out with the rest of the hunters so much.

So, maybe Dean can't relate, but, he can sympathise.

Lara herself is busy asking Sam all kinds of questions about how they averted the end of the world. She is surprised to hear about an actual angel, Castiel, But doesn't really connect the dots. Dean thinks she might be a bit extra thick, or maybe she's just playing dumb, because, men in this line of work are traditionalists who are more scared of intelligent women than they are of Wendigos. Dean can see that it's annoying Sam though. She's asking all kinds of obvious amateur questions, and while any other hunter would bathe in the sense of false intelligence, Sammy is already a genius, a former Stanford Law student. He's always gone for brains instead of face, and he can sense that she is patronising him even though he doesn't need patronising.

By 2 o'clock in the early afternoon, everybody hates Lara.

"Geez, thanks for the having my back, Dean." Sam says sarcastically when Lara (finally) leaves to who knows where. Dean just smiles at him,

"Hey, I can't hit on girls, Sammy. I'm spoken for now." He tells his brother. Cas hmms an agreement from where he's started reading again. Sam looks at both of them in exasperation.

"Really? Fine. Let's go out tonight. A bar. We'll see how long you'll be 'spoken for'." Dean looks at Sam with narrowed eyes, but there is no seriousness to the statement, Sam's just poking fun at him, daring Dean to refuse, but, Dean won't.

"Alright. We'll go out. 7 sound okay?"

Sam's surprised. Not because Dean said yes, but because he sounded so casual while saying it, so sure. He would have expected him to think about it, maybe stutter a bit, But, it's like nothing else matters. He looks at Dean looking at Cas, playing with Cas' hair as if both of them are in some cheesy romance novel. Neither of them has even moved from the couch since morning. It should be boring but, Dean looks like he's having the time of his life. Cas tries to look like he's interested in the book, but, even he just leans into every touch, every time Dean runs his hands through his hair. It is so weird to look at Cas like this, making happy sounds and snuggling, it's all so normal when it shouldn't be, Because the last time Sam so Cas, He was stiff as a wall, But, now he just curls like a really large cat.

If Cas wasn't Cas, Sam would call him cute.

At 6 o'clock, Dean and Cas finally move their asses from the couch. The whole day, the only time they've been up is to either eat something or to go to the bathroom. But, now they go up to the spare room, taking out clothes from their respective duffles so as to make themselves look presentable for the night out.  
Dean didn't notice before because he was just so overwhelmed with Cas existing, but, now he can appreciate just how much living as an actual human for the past 29 years has significantly changed Cas' dressing sense. He wears dark jeans instead of slacks now. And most of his t-shirts seem to be TV show or Anime merchandise. He had been wearing a Dragon Ball Z jumper the whole day. It's comical and in some weird way just so Cas like that Dean laughs. But, they're going out, and jumpers aren't really practical. So Cas also has a collection of dress shirts, all of them either white or black. They're synthetic too, so they flow down his shoulder blades and chest in the best possible way. The best though is what they do to his arms when he bends down to tie his boots. Dean has to suck in a breath even though he's basically memorised every inch of Castiel just last night.  
Dean loves Castiel's new wardrobe.

 

There are moments of doubt, tiny seconds that turn to overwhelming minutes when Dean thinks that maybe he lost his Cas at the Stull cemetery at that day two years ago after all. There are times when Dean doesn't recognise this absolutely beautiful man in front of him, cannot digest the strangeness he feels when he sees Cas moving with so much ease, a kind of confidence and stability that wasn't present when Castiel was an angel. He understands human communication now, can speak pop-culture fluently, has a frighteningly good grasp on sarcasm and a very dry sense of humour.

Cas also knows more people now. Has friends outside the Winchesters. There are people he laughs with, people he scowls at and tries to avoid. There are people who call him over, ask him for a drink or a dance. All of them call him either Novak or Castiel. He doesn't miss the looks he gets when he calls Castiel 'Cas'. People look at him with wide eyes, surprised frowns, before looking back at Cas with wary eyes as if he's rabid.

Dean doesn't know what's wrong, but, there is a small sense of relief that nobody but him calls Castiel 'Cas'.

Dean finds himself fighting jealousy almost all the time when he's at the bar with Cas. Now that he's human, has been for the past 29 years, he's more approachable. Doesn't stand to stiffly, or talk like a robot who eats dictionaries for food. His stance is relaxed, eyes still alert, his clothes fit now, and he smiles more often.

In Dean's opinion, Cas attracts way too much attention.

He glowers at people who stare at Cas for too long, and scowls when he catches Sam's eyes, a knowing look on his little brother's face. When Dean's too tired of glaring at almost every patron in the bar, he does the next best thing, quickly downing his beer, he wraps an arm around Cas' waist, pulling him flush against his side, and kisses him in a way that would definitely get them arrested for public indecency if they were anywhere but in a bar full of hunters.

Dean thinks that maybe he's being a bit too overbearing and is about to pull back when Cas smiles into the kiss, running his tongue along Dean's bottom lip, Dean opens up instantly, and they deepen the kiss further, and really, God knows Dean would have gone on and on if Cas wouldn't have broken it off to laugh.

"What?" Dean asked, half whining, half genuinely confused.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to hold off much longer." Cas tells him, and when his eyes meet Dean's all of his doubts about Cas not being Cas sound incredibly stupid. Because, there is only one person in this world who has eyes that blue. Only one person who would look at Dean like that, like he can see through Dean's soul and past all his flaws. Like Dean's sins are nothing compared to the good he's done. There is only one person who has seen Dean in hell and is still willing to love him. He's seen Dean at his worst, and he's still here. He's saved Dean from his demons and he's not going anywhere.

There is really only one person that could look at Dean like Dean is the Righteous Man. And really, the Righteous Man has always belonged to Castiel.

"I _love_ you. Honestly, I love you so much." Dean tells him, and the warm blue of Cas' eyes warms further, until it's almost liquid, It's the colour of the sky when mixed with the sea, a blue that shouldn't exist but still does, It's purer than white and glows like the sun, It's the colour of hope, of safety. It's the colour Dean calls 'home', It's the colour of grace and power, It's strong and gentle, it's firm and soft, It's doubt and determination. It's the colour of free will. It's the colour that speaks volumes without uttering a word.

It's the colour that leaves Dean _breathless_ and panting.

"I love you too." Cas says, and all the humour is gone from his voice, filled with gut-wrenching adoration, "I've loved you since the beginning."

Dean doesn't know where the beginning begins, But, it doesn't matter because this is Cas and Cas loves him, actually genuinely feels the same way, and no matter what Dean does, he can't quit looking into those eyes, can't smother the shit-eating grin on his face, He can't slow down his heart rate, can't stop his hands from trembling as they caress Cas' cheeks, fingers sliding over his jaw-line, he tugs at Cas' chin, pulling him in for one more soft kiss, before looking over at where his brother is staring at him with his jaw hanging open.

It takes a moment for Dean to realise that Sam thought Dean wouldn't kiss a guy in front of other people. It takes another moment to realise that maybe if it was anybody but Cas, then maybe he wouldn't have kissed him. But, It's Cas, and Cas is it, and he isn't risking the best thing in his life just because he feels a bit uncomfortable.

No matter what, he isn't going to fuck this up.

He grins at his brother before looking over to the rest of the bar, people are either staring at them in disappointment, or are avoiding looking at them, which means mission accomplished, he winks at a woman who had been approaching them just before the kiss and the arm wrapped around Cas' waist get a bit tighter. Cas snorts, before shimmying out of his arms and walking over to the bartender. Dean pouts, following him, and ordering the beer for himself too. That's when he remembered what Cas said before,

"What did you mean when you said I won't be able to hold off any longer?" He asks Cas, who just grins, shaking his head,

"You aren't as subtle as you think. I wouldn't have taken you for the possessive type." He tells Dean, and Dean opens his mouth to deny it, but, Cas cuts him off, "Not that I mind. It's hot."

Dean doesn't know what to say to that, his cheeks are burning, so he decides to change the subject, clearing his throat and looking over the rest of the establishment,

"Why do people look at us like you're going to murder me whenever I call you 'Cas'?" He looks over to see Cas blushing, he shifts a bit, shuffling his feet and looking at everywhere but Dean,

"I-uh.." Cas stops, clears his throat, He closes his eyes and continues, "I punched a guy."

"Because he called you 'Cas'?" Dean asks, his smile widening, but, Cas can't see because his eyes are still closed,

"Yes."

"Why?" Dean can feel the discomfort radiating from Castiel in waves ,and he's loving it. The number of times Cas has left Dean all embarrassed and speechless is too many to count. He considers this just a tiny part of pay-back. Cas clears his throat again, opens his eyes to stare at the beer bottle in his hands, and murmurs in a voice so slow, Dean has to lean over right in front of his face to hear the next words,

"It reminded me of you." Cas grumbles out, and presses his lips shut so hard that they've gone white instead of the usual red. It's Dean's turn to laugh now, and he doesn't stop even when Cas gives him the I'm-gonna-smite-you-dead glare. 

Yes, Cas is hot, he is also beautiful, but, God, The guy is also pretty Goddamn _adorable_.

And He's Dean's.

_~fin~_


End file.
